Confessions of a Property Manager Pt 7

America has raised a huge generation of people who have had everything handed to them on a silver platter. It has suddenly become very popular to complain about millennials but, in property management, I have not had much of an issue with their stereotypical attitude. I've had issues with a different bunch... 

The majority of single women who live here, ages ranging between 30-60, all think that they are entitled to everything. They have the most petty demands. Today, in the state of Washington, we are surrounded by fires in central WA, Montana, Idaho and Canada. I have been watching these news stories about people who have died in Hurricane Harvey. People in the Caribbean are currently losing everything they have in Hurricane Irma. And then I come to work and hear my residents petty little complaints. Not all people, but some people are so picky and over-privileged. I truly wonder how some people have made it this far in their lives. I have a woman complaining about gnats flying outside her apartment. A few have snuck inside her unit and are annoying her and she wants us to do something about it. Another woman called just to complain that there are bugs outside.... Uh, HELLO! Of course bugs are outside.... Also, the gnats and bugs are coming indoors because they are suffocating from the smoke outside. It is also very unusually humid right now. Not to mention, we live in a fucking watershed and are surrounded by little swamps. AND, NO, I CAN'T MURDER OR CONTROL NATURE. I am not God. But I am very sorry that you are a sensitive little snowflake. *sigh*...

This same woman who complains about gnats is a tiny pretty woman in her 60s who always is dressed perfectly from head to toe. She is sticky SICKLY sweet as a peach when she comes to talk to us in the office. She flips her bleach blonde hair around (it should be totally gray at this point in her life) and just acts like she doesn't want to bother us. Then, when the sun goes down, she turns into an ogre! She once left a nasty mean note on my office door and emailed me bitchy petty shit more than once. She loves life during the day, but at night she just can't believe the HELLHOLE she moved into... Jesus, woman. During the day, she recommends her friends to come and tour and move in. By night, her apartment is UNLIVABLE! She is lucky to live in a middle floor, sandwhiched in a really good spot - right below a woman who is actually a good resident - You know, the type that we NEVER hear from because she has her life together and pays her rent on time and knows how to submit service requests online and is never an issue or a bother to me. Crazy old blonde lady also lives right above the model. She insists that the noise in unbearable and makes her apartment unlivable because ONE TIME the fan in the bathroom of the model was left on by maintenance and it was SO LOUD she couldn't sleep at 10PM and if management didn't show up immediately to turn off the fan then there would "BE HELL TO PAY".... 

Watch out for tiny blonde sticky sweet ladies. It's all a lie. Trust no one. 

Oh, no, this isn't a photo of my resident. But the woman pictured here is bound to end up just like my salty petty old resident. 

Confessions of a Property Manager Pt 6

17) It drives me bananas how many packages people get in a day. Ya'lls addiction to Amazon Prime is getting OUT OF CONTROL. Ok, I get it, you work a lot. Online shopping is easy. It is free shipping AND you don't have to drive anywhere! That's great. But A) pick up your package within a reasonable time frame. Waiting a week is unacceptable. I don't have the storage capacity to keep your shit here, nor does my leasing consultant have the time or energy to call you every week to remind you to pick up your shit. B) Do not yell at me or insinuate that I stole your fucking package if you come in to pick up and it's not here.... You tell me "It says it was delivered".... oh yeah, well your mom probably told you there was a Santa Claus too. UPS and USPS fucking lie, okay. You get upset with me about not having your package one more time I will...... I will continue to rant about it to everyone I know. Yeah. WHAT NOW, BITCH!

18) What's with the crazy people? I have a resident who is all kinds of bananas. She is one of those who doesn't see a real doctor. She goes to one of the fluffy ones who tell her sunshine and rainbows will heal all that ails her. Her witch doctor told her that she has mold poisoning from her apartment. Yeah....ok? Can we see some documentation of the test that told you this? Nope, the fluff doctor lady told her she has mold poisoning by looking at her and listening to her complain about life. Alright..... So, we fully inspect the unit. No mold. We then call an air quality specialist and pay $700 out of our pockets just to give her peace of mind and what do we find out?! All the mother effing plants in her apartment are infested with mold... hahahahhahahaha. I love that story. I love when it's the resident's fault.

20) Everyone, watch out for the middle aged/older single women who live alone. They are the worst. No one can make them happy. Obviously. They think we only work for them. They think they deserve to have everything for free because... well, they are bitches. This one, let's call her DEBRA because that is a fun name to scream. Since DAY ONE when she moved here she has been trying to get free shit. New appliances, new flooring, new mirror, cheaper rent, waived fees, etc. etc. A couple months ago she was being an idiot and fell and hurt herself and now she wants us to pay for everything. Uuuuugggghhhhh I changed my mind, I actually don't want to talk about her because she infuriates me so much. I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL SHE LEAVES.

Best. Month. Ever

Okay, so, I am millennial. We always "love" and "hate" everything and say everything is "amazing" and the "best ever"....

but truly....

March 2017 has been one of the best months of my life.

1) I took my first solo trip ever. It was a really short weekend trip but I loved every second of it. I cried. I laughed. I drank. I sang. I danced. I ate. I hiked. I embraced my loneliness. (See photos below). It got me really excited about life and I now have the urge to just pack my bags and disappear. And I am already jonesin for my next trip to the unknown.

2)  I am on the verge of legal single-ness. My divorce will be finalized in 3 days: March 31st! I am not over the moon excited over it because it means I have a divorce under my belt. It's not impressive. Not a great conversation starter and it was something I never thought I would have. However, it is a very good thing and very symbolic for me. It represents my strength. For once in my life I stood up and said "No. I deserve better for myself." I have absolutely enjoyed these last few months on my own. I have enjoyed the lonely and have proved to myself that I can do it.

3) I started dating again. Maaaaybe the dating itself hasn't been the best thing ever. It's actually been exhausting. I have met a lot of weirdos. But I have also met some really great guys. It has made me feel really hopeful because I was honestly terrified. I thought that at my OLD AGE of 27 (haha) it would be impossible to meet men who didn't already have kids and if they don't have kids then they probably smoke or still live with their mom, or whatever. I have been surprised that the pool is still plentiful. I've met a couple really amazing guys. With that being said, online dating has been silly and I full intend to write a blog post just about my dating escapades next
~~Don't worry mom, I will fill you in soon ;) ~~

      Orcas Island <3

February. The month of Love. Or Not...

Wow, it has been a really difficult 2 months.
I suppose I could blame it on the weather. It is February 21st and the snow is still a-droppin! It's always dark and dreary outside and if it weren't for my dog, I'd probably never go outside to see any light of day.

Despite how depressing these couple months have been I know that I have made the right choice for myself. Divorce isn't easy. Being alone isn't easy. It isn't supposed to be. We are programmed to be with other humans.

Living alone has its benefits, though. I get to watch whatever I want to watch. I can listen to whatever music I want to listen to. There is no arguing about where, what or when to eat. I don't have to share anything. I sleep in the middle of the bed. I sprawl out on the entire length of the couch. I only run the dishwasher once a week! And I only have to take the trash out once a week! I don't have to clean as often because I keep a clean house every day and utilize less...crap!

But sometimes, it gets lonely. When I speak out loud I realize that no one will respond. No one is listening. Try as my dog may, she cannot understand me. She looks at me a cocks her head to one side and stares at me intently, but she can't respond. The bed is cold. I miss being a little spoon. I made myself a boyfriend pillow. I lay it along my backside and it is comforting. LOL. I miss sitting at the dinner table with someone. You'd think a single girl would be eating top ramen on the couch while watching Sex in the City. But, nope, I still sit at my dinner table alone every night while listening to the saddest music. I have a glass of wine in the bathtub. Then I make a cup of tea and read in bed until I fall asleep at 9PM.

Single 21 year old Sarah would be at the bar every night, flirting with boys and laughing with friends. I'd stay up until 2AM and sleep in until 11AM. I'm so old now and have responsibilities soooo that just isn't in the cards for me. Being a single at 27 is not something I prepared myself for. I feel so awkward and confused. More so than I did when I was 21. How funny is that? I do spend a lot more time with my friends and I have enjoyed that a lot. I have more time to see my parents. And I just have more time for me.

I have a solo 4 day weekend trip planned in March. I am going to the San Juan islands by myself and I am really excited because I have never done ANYTHING by myself. And by that I just mean that I haven't traveled anywhere by myself. I am hoping that the snow is gone by the time I have to journey across the pass. I am scaaaaaared. But it'll be good.

*sigh*

I don't know what else to say. I am just taking things one day at a time. Some days are good. Some days are even GREAT. But some day really aren't even close to good at all. Some days I just sulk and cry. One day I will "get there" - wherever that is :)

End of a Hard Year

2016
A lot has happened.
I did a lot this year. I took a hard look at my health. I tried new fitness plans. I learned new things about food. I invested so much in my job. I took a couple trips. I gained new friends. I got closer to nature and have found a spirit in it.
But while I was doing all of that I was lying to myself. I thought I was growing as a person but I was really shrinking. I buried who I was deep down to avoid feeling anything.
Depression has been a lifelong struggle.
Low self-esteem has been a lifelong struggle.
I struggle with hearing and accepting a compliment.
I struggle with looking in the mirror and smiling.
I have no problem voicing my opinion loudly for all to hear when I am with friends, family and when posting on social media. However, it has always been impossible for me to freely communicate my emotions to another human being in a way that makes me vulnerable and honest.
Anything important I have had to say I have always had to write it down. I can't speak. I don't know how to speak. I never learned. I don't know. Writing has been my therapy.
I recently took a look at my writings over the last 2 years and all I can see is a blanket over my unhappiness.
No one made me this way.
No one has done anything to hurt me or push me into a hole.
I put myself there.
But I have come to learn more about myself. I now know what I want in life.
I want to be happy.
I want a family of my own. I want the guy and I want my own kids. And not just like 1 or 2. I want like 3 or 4. I want to drag my family on weekend hiking and camping getaways. I want a yard. I want to be close to nature. I want a ranch. I want goats. I want to help people. I want to be the kind, caring, generous, understanding person that I know that I am but I want to be able to express it in the way that I want. I want to feel and express my emotions exactly when they happen. I want to learn. I want to grow.
As Belle would say, "I want adventure in the great wide somewhere. I want it more than I can tell. And for once it might be grand to have someone understand I want so much more than they've got planned"
If I were to ever get another tattoo (I hate tattoos, by the way) it would be that quote. Yes, a quote from a Disney movie.
I spent the last couple of years wanting to disappear and hating everything. I am ready to make choices for myself for once. I am ready to learn to love myself and to begin my journey towards happiness. As much as it hurts right now and as scared as I am this very moment I know that this is what I need to do.
I have learned that the mind is a powerful thing.
Best wishes to 2017!

Fitness Challenge?....

BLANK Fitness Challenge (which I will not name here)
It is a 12 week fitness challenge that is advertised at the price of only $25 per week. It includes group training and a meal plan. If you win (lose the most weight) you win $1,000. Sounds great, right?

Let's start from the beginning...

So, I saw an ad for the 12 week challenge on Facebook. It caught my eye because I have a couple friends who are a part of it and they had good things to say. I have seen a few of my former high school classmates succeed in weight loss while doing this challenge. It intrigued me and sounded cheaper than what I was doing at the time. (and it is cheaper and it is cheaper for a reason...)

I registered for the challenge for 'only' $25, as it was an "early bird special" and that price would only last 9 more hours! I found out throughout the span of 2 months that the $25 'early bird special' was the always special, nothing early or special about it... I even called them out on it on Facebook a few days after I paid because the ad still said the "special" of $25 but this time it would last only 12 hours! They replied and they said it must be a mistake... Clearly it is a strategy to give people the sense of urgency and to feel that they would be one of the elite if they got in early. I can understand that. I also work sales but I don't lie to people.

Despite my feelings about the "early bird special" I tried so hard to go into it with an open mind and tried to be excited. My orientation was scheduled on a certain day at a certain time.
I showed up for orientation at their "gym" or "training center" or whatever they call it... and walked into a room of about 40 people and loud music. Most people there appeared to be females ranging from ages 18-60. There were a few men in there who all looked middle aged and a bunch of screaming kids running around. I instantly did not feel good. The aura was not a positive one. It felt like I had just walked into one of those "get rich quick" scheme meetings.

Now, I know I shouldn't judge others on appearance... but all the "trainers" look so young! Some were previous clients and the others looked to me like young folks who just need jobs before and after school. One young guy kept giving high fives. I'm not a fan of high fives....

I admit that they were extremely organized. Clipboards, pens, a stack of papers strategically placed in a certain order... I also imagine Hitler was organized, but that is a different topic.

Anyway, they handed each of us a folders including 50 some odd pages of bullshit and rules.

• An entire page with like 10pt times new roman font of everyyything that will disqualify you in the program (You would be disqualified from the challenge if you didn't weigh-in every single Monday, work out with them at least 3x per week and if you didn't submit your food journal every week, don't answer their phone calls, etc.) 
• Codes of conduct (YOU MUST have a good attitude, respect others, listen to everyone before you make an opinion about them, blah blah this and blah blah that... What, is this third grade?)
• Meal Plans (Seriously - yogurt, granola and blueberries are your idea of a balanced breakfast? Surely a real trainer would know that each individual has different caloric needs! Plus, I don't trust anyone who promotes dairy products)
• Homework (At home workouts, things to think about, stuff you have to do that week like record every single glass of water you have, etc.)
• And more bullshit. A whole page on what to eat if you are breastfeeding. Lol. Why.... 

There were a lot of bolded words throughout these pages. Things like "PROBLEM" and "CAN'T"....
I am sorry, but what kind of personal training center, which is supposed to foster a positive environment, highlights negativity and words that promote failure? I am used to the word "can't" being forbidden...

I read their lengthy contract in its entirety. In teeny tiny font it mentioned the true cost of the program which is NOT $25 per week for 12 weeks. It is actually $33 per week for 12 weeks OR $25+tax per week for 16 weeks. At the end of the challenge they will keep on charging your bank account every week until you write them a letter notifying of your wish to cancel the program and you then must mail it to their corporate office. I presume a lot of these letters get "lost in the mail" and I get this sense due to the excessive mentioning of attorney's and that you are legally responsible for cost if you don't continue to pay, etc. Interesting...

I just sat in the group listening to these younglings speak and watched everyone in the crowd nod in unison. No one had questions! People weren't even reading the contract!

All of a sudden the meeting was over and everyone lined up in a single file line at the counter and happily handed the kids their credit cards and signed contracts. My heart was racing with anxiety and I felt nauseous over how everyone was just okay with this?! Then I realized the type of people who were there. These folks have never worked out in their lives. They haven't eaten nutritious food. They do not know where to begin. It is 2016. We constantly have diet programs shoved in our faces and we do not know what to do. We feel helpless. We are told South Beach diet works! Atkins works! Paleo Works! But nothing is working. We continue to fail. So, we choose something close to home and we choose something where we get told what to do.

I get it now. But I wasn't having it. It was not right. It may work for some people but I knew this was not where I belonged. I stood in that line watching women swipe their cards and hand in their contracts. When it came to my turn I stood and stared at the line of "trainers" and said "I am not interested". I ensured that my credit card was not ever going to be charged again. I didn't turn in any information about me and told them "some other time"....#ORNEVER....

Oh well.

Summer, OVER!

That's it, folks! Summer is DONE! Whoohoo!
Okay, well not technically until 9/22, but in my eyes it is overrrr and Fall begins 9/1! Rejoice! Bring out the Uggs, Fall wreaths, hot tea, sweaters & all things pumpkin!
This summer was pretty lame. I did not do anything. I did not go anywhere. I worked. Work is life.

I road my roller coaster of working out and eating right and then NOT working out and NOT eating right: Story of my life.

Remember where we left off with my roller coaster blog? I eventually did get my nutrition plan....  really late in the game. I was training one day a week and doing booty camp and abs camp. With that 45 day challenge I lost 13 lbs of fat and gained 11 lbs of muscle. I didn't physically see a difference but I felt my clothes getting loose. That was cool!
But, shortly after that challenge I felt unmotivated and uninspired to keep working out as hard. I still followed a meal plan, for the most part, but it got too boring. Why was I following the plan? I couldn't figure it out. I was not happy.

Then I read "Eat to Live" by Dr. Fuhrman. 

Great book, recommended by my mom! But also made me feel very conflicted. Everything I learned at Chrome is so opposite from what he says but I truly believe him. Embrace a vegan lifestyle! Meat is correlated with cancer. We don't NEED meat to survive. Then again, the fitness industry says we need meat for gainz! And then the food industry promotes dairy. And then all the stores have an abundance of sugar and processed foods. I am just so confused. There is so much information out there. Who do I trust? I am leaning towards Dr. Fuhrman right now. I felt happiest in April this year when I was basically living a vegan lifestyle.

I start a 12 week challenge next week with a different company. I hear good things about them and they are much cheaper than personal training. I know personal training is soooo worth it but I just can't afford that. One day, though! And as long as I can be vegan ;)

Anyway, I have been doing a lot of hiking! I LOVE hiking! I want to get really into it but since my husband doesn't seem to enjoy the outdoors, I will be hiking solo. And since it is 2016, that is not safe. So I am shit outta luck! LOL. Nah, we will see.

We have a trip planned next month to go to Leavenworth for Oktoberfest with some friends. My husband is really looking forward to it. He has always wanted to do Oktoberfest. I predict shenanigans. I look forward to finding hiking places in Leavenworth that I can scope out. I LOVE NATURE!

Well, that is it for now!

Roller Coaster Feelings

Remember how in April I was super optimistic about working out and eating right?
Well, now I feel like crap.
Why?
A mixture of my job and having to sit on my butt all day and a mixture of emotional issues.
I felt great and really successful in my health endeavors up until last week when the Chrome 45 day fitness challenge began.
I paid $250 for 6 personal training sessions and a nutrition plan. It also came with body caliper testing, measurements, pictures... I was so excited the day of the meeting.
And then we took pictures of me with my shirt off. That was a humbling experience. Maybe I let it get to my head and let the self-loathing creep back into my mind. Whatever it was, I spiraled downhill pretty quickly and the next 5 days consisted of me treating myself like shit.
I drank some booze
I ate some crap food
and then I felt even worse about myself so I didn't work out. At least, not the way I have been the last few months.
Why don't I have the mental strength?
When will I learn?
I KNOW what is good for me and have a basic idea of what isn't. Yet, I still purposely CHOOSE the WRONG things. WHY!? In my mind I have argued with myself over and over and over and all day long and I have come up with a billion excuses. One excuse is that it is 9 days into the challenge and I still don't have a nutrition plan. That is primarily why I signed up for this challenge. I want to know exactly what I should be eating but I am frustrated because a plan still hasn't been sent to me. Is that an excuse? I don't know. Maybe. When left to my own devices I do the wrong things. Even when I think I am being healthy I may not be. Apparently sandwiches are bad for you...
*UGH*
Feeling defeated.
But it is time to pick myself up and try it again on my own.
This is the look of exhaustion:

On the plus side, grapes are in season and they are crunchy, just the way I like them :)

Flawless

I took a quick trip to Seattle with my gal pal, Olivia, last week so we could go see Beyonce in concert. And boy OH BOY, she is amazzzzzzing! Seriously, the most beautiful person I have ever seen. She can sing, she can dance, and her smile could melt anyone's heart. I may have developed a bit of a girl crush. She was seriously #Flawless.





I got to explore Seattle a little bit and it was wonderful catching up with Olivia. We did the shopping. We did the eating. We did the touristy things; Space Needle, Pike's Places, etc. It was awesome and great to get away from work for a short period of time.

Seattle can be kinda pretty, I suppose ;)

 

                                              #tourist

Lemon Cheesecake is BOMB!!!! :)

                                                                                               I swear, it looks like a spaceship

Health Journey

Okay, for once I am not going to complain. I know that the majority of my blog is just me whining like a little bitch. I will always be a whiney little bitch and hate everything and everyone because that is just who I am. I am pessimistic and cynical as HECK. But not today. Today I am golden.

The last couple months I have been trying to get serious about my health. It is not like I am trying to get healthy for anything in particular. I just want to feel and look better and to wake up and know that I am doing what I can to take care of myself. I do not want to wake up one day and to not be able to see my feet or tie my shoes or to develop heart disease or diabetes.

I have always been going to the gym with my husband but I have never taken it seriously. I mostly just wanted to spend time with him. In late January I started taking this booty boot camp class on Tuesday nights at Chrome Personal Training Centre. Its a half hour long class and it is TOUGH AS SHIT. Everyone who goes to the class is there for the same reason, more or less: to get fit, to learn and to grow dat booty! LOL A lot of the clients of Chrome are training hard to reach their goals of bodybuilding, bikini competitions, or whatever. The trainers believe in everyone giving it their all. Everyone is so focused and determined. It is something I have never seen or experienced before and it is insanely impressive, inspiring and motivating.

I have started to eat more healthy. I no longer consistently consume hot wings, garlic bread, pizza, pasta and packaged meals. I cut out alcohol. Quitting alcohol was due to a moment in December 2015 when I drank 3 bottles of wine in one night and ate a giant vat of fondue with bread and steak and got so sick. That was a wake-up call - an "ah-ha" Oprah moment where I realized that I eat a lot when I drink and that alone has probably contributed to a large amount of weight gain.

I have been focused more on organic fruits, veggies and natural carbs and sugars. I have eliminated almost all meat from my diet, except for grilled chicken which I eat ONLY for the protein. I actually hate the taste of meat now... I've been obsessed with my FitBit and love to see my miles and step count go up. I write down every single thing I eat and record how many calories, carbs, protein, I am consuming, etc.

I started C25K again. I am on week 3. I run Monday, Wednesday, and Friday mornings. I do the booty boot camp Tuesday and Saturday. Wednesday and Thursday night I do weights at Gold's Gym with my husband and Sunday is Leg day. Early Saturday morning before booty camp I try to go on a hike (weather permitting). I have drawn a calendar and put stickers on each day I work out. That has been almost every single day this month, besides 2 rest days.

There is a boot camp class at Gold's Gym that I have been meaning to try. I had been putting it off for the last month. I have been going to bed at night telling myself that I will wake up and just go and do it but each morning I change my mind. This morning my alarm went off. I told myself noooo, I am not going to go. But I laid there for another 10 minutes and was literally arguing with myself in my head. "Sarah, you've been doing this for weeks now, putting it off and putting it off. This is the last day you have to go and try it for FREE before they start charging for their classes. You are already awake. Just get up. Get up. GET UP!" and I say back to myself in my head "But I am tired"... "No you're not. You've been getting up this early for the last 3 weeks. Why are you lying to yourself?" ..."Okay, but I am scared of looking bad in front of everyone who has been doing it forever".... "Well, you go to Booty Bootcamp at Chrome and you look like an idiot in front of everyone but they don't even notice and when you do crappy people cheer you on and you keep going back"... "You know, Sarah, you have a good point. The worse that can happen is that I will go, hate it, fall and get laughed at, or have to run out and poop myself. Those are all okay options and the world will not end."...

So, I got out of bed and I went to the damn class. Yes, it was hard. Yes, it sucked, Yes, I was dripping with sweat and could not hold myself in push up position nearly as long or as well as everyone else. I was the newbie. But I am glad I went. The trainer, Charles, was right there with everyone, doing it with everyone, going to each person and showing them the proper form. And it felt awesome, even though I couldn't hold my own body weight up off the ground! I got a high five from Charles at the end and now I get to have a happy rest of the day knowing I DID SOMETHING.

I have lost 19lbs since January. Insane to think of how much weight that is but, being that I am so big, I do not see a difference in my body. I FEEL a difference. I am happier. I feel motivated. I wake up and don't feel tired. The other day, I pulled my work pants completely down without unbuttoning or unzipping them when those same exact pants were so tight and cutting off my circulation last summer. That is hilarious to me and also annoying because I cannot afford to buy new pants. LOL.

I know I can do better. I can do a better job at cutting out sugar. I can work out harder. I can get stronger. I can run faster.

And I will :)

This photo is current, April 2016. Let's remember this look. 72lbs away from goal weight. It may not look like I need to lose THAT much weight...but yes. Yes I do. Let's just say...You haven't seen me naked.... LOL

Confessions of a Property Manager pt 5

16) You know, it's always the people who complain the most that are actually biggest lease violators and worse residents.

Example: I have a resident, let's call him Timmy, who complained that his upstairs neighbors are loud all the time. They, let's call them Jane and Bob, are allegedly up all night and their dog jumps and barks all day long. When in reality, Jane and Bob work full time jobs and sleep all night and work all day, so there is no way they are "up all night." And while they are away their dog is kenneled and has a bark collar. Jane and Bob tell me that, in reality, Timmy is the loud one. He has a screaming child and he smokes pot all the time and the stench seeps up into their bathrooms but they haven't complained about it because they don't want to start a war. Jane and Bob bought a house and are moving out soon. Good for Jane and Bob. If only Timmy would leave so the good residents could stay...

Example: Let's call him Benjamin. Benjamin always has something to complain about. The sprinklers are going off. There is dog poop in the grass. The ground gets icy in the wintertime. Blah blah blah. But mister Benjamin and his wife fight all night long and can be heard yelling and swearing at each other to the point that police are called. The day after wife moves out a new girl arrives. Oooooh, looks like Benjamin had a girlfriend... #scandal! xoxo, Gossip Girl

Example: Let's call her Sally. Sally drives recklessly. Sally has a messy patio covered in cat litter boxes. Sally has 3 vehicles and a trailer that she never registered with the office. Sally decides to leave town for 3 months. We had to repave our parking lot. I sent out letters and emails a handful of times to residents letting them know ahead of time that all vehicles will be towed on a particular morning if they do not move them. A large vehicle was left in the parking lot with an out of state plate and expired tabs. I had the vehicle towed across the street, where is sat for a week before I had to get it actually towed to am impound. The next day Sally returns and asks me if I know anything about her vehicle. Oh, Sally, was that vehicle yours? The one you never told me about? The one with out of state plates? The one with expired tabs? Sally gets mad and says I should have called her and told her about the repaving of the lot. Because yeah, I had time to personally call all 200 of my residents.... Sally demands I pay for her car to get out of impound. No Sally. No... It is time for YOU to adult now, Sally... #adulting #responsibilities

Example: Let's call him Cory. Cory has an outdoor cat. The lease states that all animals need to be on a leash at all times in the community. ALL ANIMALS, Cory! At one point, we had 4 cats roaming the community, spraying buildings and shitting on people's patios! We caught one and took it to SCRAPS. I got complaints from a handful of Cory's neighbors that he has an outdoor cat. I sent a letter to the community regarding outdoor pets and that it is not a thing that can happen. Cory called me and said he was allowed to have an outdoor cat. I said "Show me this in writing where this is permitted." Cory couldn't prove it and he was mad. He said cat is a companion animal for anxiety but the cat gives him anxiety when it is indoors...So cat NEEDS it to be outside all by itself... *rolls eyes* Nope, Cory, you can't have an outdoor cat. 

Example: Let's call him grumpy. Grumpy is a hoarder and he smells. Grumpy's dumpy car leaks oil all over my parking lot every day. Grumpy complains that I send out notices left and right for fun. Grumpy doesn't renew his lease in time, after I sent him 2 letters, 1 email and gave him 1 courtesy phone call. Grumpy gets mad when his lease reverts to month-to-month at the market value. Grumpy is grumpy about this and yells that he is going to sue me and calls my boss. My boss tells him to just leave. Grumpy leaves, alright. But he grumps his way through it and tells me it's MY fault that he has to move. Grumpy hoarded for 20 years so moving was hard... Grumpy needed my graciousness to allow him to stay an extra 5 days because he has so much filth to remove from the apartment. Grumpy is gone now. #ByeGrumpy

Example: Let's call him psycho. Psycho complains that he hates when people post things on his door. He complains that banks are legalized thieves. He complains that the internet is evil and the government is corrupt. He has a distrust for technology. All of a sudden, psycho has an issue with his garage. We replace the motor for him. He still insists it doesn't work. Everything is brand new but when he pushes the button on his remote nothing opens. We replace his motor again. He keeps having this issue. Come to find out, he is pushing his remote button in one millisecond, which is not enough time to let the remote communicate to the motor to trigger it to open. Psycho is impatient and cannot take a full 1-2 seconds to push the button. Psycho gets mad. Psycho tries reprogramming his garage himself and that really messes things up. Psycho screams at the leasing consultant and the maintenance guy. The very next day I try to talk to psycho and help him and walk him through how to properly operate his garage remote. But psycho doesn't like this and psycho screams and curses in my face and throws my office chair and punches my desk like a TOTAL psycho. I call the police on psycho. Psycho has a concealed weapon and takes controlled substances. Psycho continues to be psycho and sends me hate mail via certified letter.... And psycho was the one who had something to complain about. Sheesh.... #psycho

I think I need a vacation?