Confessions of a Property Manager Pt 6

17) It drives me bananas how many packages people get in a day. Ya'lls addiction to Amazon Prime is getting OUT OF CONTROL. Ok, I get it, you work a lot. Online shopping is easy. It is free shipping AND you don't have to drive anywhere! That's great. But A) pick up your package within a reasonable time frame. Waiting a week is unacceptable. I don't have the storage capacity to keep your shit here, nor does my leasing consultant have the time or energy to call you every week to remind you to pick up your shit. B) Do not yell at me or insinuate that I stole your fucking package if you come in to pick up and it's not here.... You tell me "It says it was delivered".... oh yeah, well your mom probably told you there was a Santa Claus too. UPS and USPS fucking lie, okay. You get upset with me about not having your package one more time I will...... I will continue to rant about it to everyone I know. Yeah. WHAT NOW, BITCH!

18) What's with the crazy people? I have a resident who is all kinds of bananas. She is one of those who doesn't see a real doctor. She goes to one of the fluffy ones who tell her sunshine and rainbows will heal all that ails her. Her witch doctor told her that she has mold poisoning from her apartment. Yeah....ok? Can we see some documentation of the test that told you this? Nope, the fluff doctor lady told her she has mold poisoning by looking at her and listening to her complain about life. Alright..... So, we fully inspect the unit. No mold. We then call an air quality specialist and pay $700 out of our pockets just to give her peace of mind and what do we find out?! All the mother effing plants in her apartment are infested with mold... hahahahhahahaha. I love that story. I love when it's the resident's fault.

20) Everyone, watch out for the middle aged/older single women who live alone. They are the worst. No one can make them happy. Obviously. They think we only work for them. They think they deserve to have everything for free because... well, they are bitches. This one, let's call her DEBRA because that is a fun name to scream. Since DAY ONE when she moved here she has been trying to get free shit. New appliances, new flooring, new mirror, cheaper rent, waived fees, etc. etc. A couple months ago she was being an idiot and fell and hurt herself and now she wants us to pay for everything. Uuuuugggghhhhh I changed my mind, I actually don't want to talk about her because she infuriates me so much. I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL SHE LEAVES.