These people....

I honestly worry about the good people in this world when there are people like my clients roaming around. Why can't we just imprison retards who are legitimately bad? By bad I mean retards who intentionally hurt people and rape children. I am having a really difficult time accepting faith when I know there are such terrible people that HE created and who WE do nothing about!!!!! They RAPE CHILDREN, for goodness sakes!!!!! I just don't understand why a retard gets privileges that a normal person doesn't get. There are some innocent normal people who get put in prison for crimes they didn't commit! Yet, there are guilty retards who committed terrible crimes (with EVIDENCE!!!!) and they get off scott-free. No, even better.... (see my other blog on all the benefits of being a retard....)

I'm just heart broken about this today.

My staff mowed the lawn yesterday, which is just a small part of what our job entails-ya know, slaving over retard's yards, food, finances, etc... While my staff was mowing, my client snuck out (at 5pm...), went next door, and asked the neighbor man "Where are your kids? Can I play with them?" Luckily the man thought he was weird and said no and even went further by saying "I do not feel comfortable disclosing that information to you!" (Bravo neighbor man!) So, my client turned around and snuck right back in the house, again, without my staff noticing.
My client knows DAMN well that this is NOT OKAY!!!!!!! He has had a judge explain to him and his therapist, doctor, psychiatrist, friends, family, and hundreds of staff  explain to him that this is completely UNACCEPTABLE behavior. He knows he cannot have ANY contact with children. He can't ever be near them. He can't watch movies that have ANY kids in them. He knows he has to be WITH STAFF (within an arms length) at ALL TIMES when he chooses to go outside of the house. And yes, he needs to be able to be seen or heard by staff 24/7, even in his house. However, we can't watch or hear him every minute of the day because we are required to do things, such as mow...

I have no doubt in my mind that my client would have abused the neighbor's sons within 3 minutes, had the man let his kids "play" with my client. This man approached my staff while she was outside again today and asked to talk to her about "the man with the mustache." Though he knows nothing of my client's background, he knew it was odd that he asked him about his kids. In our position, we canNOT tell ANYone ANY specific info about our clients, even if the ones who question are in immediate danger because of my client. This means we have to be crafty liars and give vague responses and act like bitchy clueless airheads. It is my JOB to PROTECT my CLIENT!!!! (Though ya'll should know I'd knock him out in a second if he even DARED to try to hurt someone on MY WATCH). Again, I have a moral issue with this..... with my JOB.

I worry about people's safety. I worry about my staff and I worry about myself. What if my client is in one of his moods?--The mood where he is uncontrollable and unstoppable and no matter what you say, he won't slow down... (This happens often). What if he's in one of those moods in public and he sees exactly what he wants and always prefers: 2-6 year old little boys? What if he goes after this child and upon trying to protect the child (which I would do in a HEARTBEAT), my client severely injures me? He's hurt MANY staff before, and over the smallest of issues (i.e. My client attacked his job coach 2 months ago because "she looked at me!" even though she wasn't in the same room as him when he snapped....Paranoia much? Needless to say, he was fired---FINALLY SOOOOOME justice. But I digress....) He has the strength of a full grown male chimpanzee! If this angry chimp man sees his boy candy, there's no stopping him until there's blood or physical police restraint.

Phew. I just have so many thoughts and so much anger and sadness built up inside of me because of this and because of everything I have experienced as the 'home coordinator' of these 2 clients since July. I cry a lot.

I'm on my knees begging, please, "let there one day be justice." And "Please LORD, help me find a new job soon-ANYthing!!! Please please please please."