Well, now I feel like crap.
Why?
A mixture of my job and having to sit on my butt all day and a mixture of emotional issues.
I felt great and really successful in my health endeavors up until last week when the Chrome 45 day fitness challenge began.
I paid $250 for 6 personal training sessions and a nutrition plan. It also came with body caliper testing, measurements, pictures... I was so excited the day of the meeting.
And then we took pictures of me with my shirt off. That was a humbling experience. Maybe I let it get to my head and let the self-loathing creep back into my mind. Whatever it was, I spiraled downhill pretty quickly and the next 5 days consisted of me treating myself like shit.
I drank some booze
I ate some crap food
and then I felt even worse about myself so I didn't work out. At least, not the way I have been the last few months.
Why don't I have the mental strength?
When will I learn?
I KNOW what is good for me and have a basic idea of what isn't. Yet, I still purposely CHOOSE the WRONG things. WHY!? In my mind I have argued with myself over and over and over and all day long and I have come up with a billion excuses. One excuse is that it is 9 days into the challenge and I still don't have a nutrition plan. That is primarily why I signed up for this challenge. I want to know exactly what I should be eating but I am frustrated because a plan still hasn't been sent to me. Is that an excuse? I don't know. Maybe. When left to my own devices I do the wrong things. Even when I think I am being healthy I may not be. Apparently sandwiches are bad for you...
*UGH*
Feeling defeated.
But it is time to pick myself up and try it again on my own.
This is the look of exhaustion:
On the plus side, grapes are in season and they are crunchy, just the way I like them :)
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